The Bridge

It was February 2020 and I had just returned from an amazing trip to Zanzibar with my daughter, Miya. On this magical island we celebrated my 50th birthday and her upcoming 20th birthday. We attended the Sauti Za Busara music festival which celebrated women singer/song writers from all around the continent of Africa. We visited the site of the original slave market and sat with the profound devastating details of human beings being abducted and forced into slavery. We stayed with a local family in their home, made heart to heart connections and experienced daily rural life in Africa. We swam with a pod of dolphins.

It was a monumental trip for Miya and I. From the moment she was conceived on this beautiful island I saw a vision of returning her feet to the land. At the end of the two weeks, I was so grateful to have listened to my inner guidance back in November 2019 when the opportunity to take this trip arose. At that time, I debated if such a trip was feasible. Inner Alchemy was lifting off and it was quite busy, could I take two weeks away? Could I afford it? But a loud and tightly voice within kept saying, ‘do it, DO IT!’

I had been terribly sick for seven straight days before our date of departure. It came on quite rapidly, and I remember the odd feeling that my entire system was being slowly consumed, taken over by something. The Inner Alchemy Tribe had our monthly gathering that night and I was trying SO HARD to rally. But then there was this tipping point…..it is hard to describe but it was like that moment before knowing that every organ and cell in your body will soon be diverted with what is about to happen. I canceled the group gathering and then went down with 3 consecutive days of the highest fevers I had ever experienced. I was in a state of delirium and pain. I encouraged my kids to remain with their dad so that they did not catch whatever this was. I had a consult with my doctor who declared it was the flu, but it was like no flu I had ever had in my life.

I could not leave my bed. I had no idea how I would be able to take the trip to Zanzibar, but on that seventh day, miraculously, I got up and got on a plane.

When we returned, news of COVID was erupting all around us. Washington state had the first discovered and confirmed case of COVID. As this was happening, I returned to the task of renewing my lease which was up in June 2020. I had plans to renew for another 3 years to continue to grow Inner Alchemy which had a full calendar of events, 4 healing rooms for private sessions and a crystal shop.

At the same time, news of the virus was becoming more intense. Energetically, it felt like the floor was dropping out from underneath us. Suddenly, I realized that something big was happening and the idea of massive quarantine was a real possibility. Many of our specialists were talking about moving their work online. I realized that isolating and moving work online meant no need for a space to practice in person. Suddenly renewing my lease for 1400 square feet for another 3 years felt like a huge risk. I quickly began to apply for the funding that was available in the earliest hours of the emerging pandemic, and was rejected. I asked for allowances from my landlord but he was worried about how to pay the commercial mortgage. The idea of not renewing my lease was a like a bomb that was about to drop.

 I also was having strong premonitions and visions of chaos in the streets, storefronts being shattered and massive looting. There was this strong sense of uprising and shift that I could hardly comprehend at the time. How could we ever have imagined what was to come?

So I began to pray. I asked for guidance. I asked for a sign. Everything was pointing to not renewing my lease, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. I had put my heart and soul, time, energy and resources into building Inner Alchemy. And it was just lifting off.

“Please give me a clear-concrete-I cannot deny it- sign as to what to do.”

Within a few days of my prayer request for clarity and divine guidance, I received a phone call from a friend. “I just though you would want to know that the West Seattle Bridge is going to close and it will remain closed for a long long time.”

WTF?

As a young girl I had watched the bridge as it was being built in1984. The West Seattle Bridge has 100,000 cars drive over every day and it was the route that 80% of our specialists and customers traveled to get to Inner Alchemy. And it was closing?!?

But there it was, an answer, a sign, confirmation to not renew my lease. I had asked for it and I had received it and now I had to surrender. I had long ago agreed to always follow my inner guidance, but I will tell you that every fiber of my being did not want to let go of my lease.

 But I did.

The final Inner Alchemy Tribe ZOOM gathering.

I had dreams of a farewell party to gather all of the many healers, vendors, artists, shaman, yogis, musicians, customers, friends and family who had become part of the fabric of Inner Alchemy. At lease we could celebrate all that had been build and co-created, right? But we were in quarantine and this was not a possibility. I had our final tribe gathering online, sharing the news that I would not be renewing my lease and that I had no idea what was to come.

Hand carved Buddha which was in the Inner Alchemy hallway.

Next, I had to deconstruct the beautiful physical space I had created. I moved everything into my basement, grateful I had the space to house most of the furniture and cases. And then, almost immediately, I fell down into what I only later understood was covid long haulers. Deep fatigue, painful joints, a mind so foggy I often felt I couldn’t drive. I had little to no energy and most days were spent in bed. I had migraines that lasted for days and completely took me out. There was an element of deep despair and grief that over came me. These were some dark and bleak days…

Out of around 20 monthly events, Kundalini yoga was the only class that continued online. Coming together each Wednesday was the highlight of my week and really eased my covid long haul symptoms.

Slowly, and I mean SLOWLY, my symptoms began to alleviate and resolve. I was guided to get some help with acupuncture so I began to see Jim at Westside Acupuncture and Herb. He took time to ask detailed questions about what I was experiencing. After a couple of visits, it was Jim who said he believed I was dealing with Covid long haulers. “But I never had covid, I only had the worst flu of my life.” And then it dawned on me, that was no flu, that was covid. Honestly, this was a crashing crazy revelation to me and it explained all that had become the inexplainable.

Inner Alchemy 2.0 at 3043 California Ave SW.

One day as I left my acupuncture appointment, I noticed the little space next door to Jim was vacant. I asked him about it and he said, ‘are you interested?’ After seeing the private room and noticing the slat wall (perfect for retail shelves) I said yes. In September 2021, I reopened a new and more intimate version of Inner Alchemy at 3043 California Ave SW.

It has been a moderately paced re-opening with the priority of balancing my health with my private practice, teaching Kundalini yoga, and running the crystal shop. Every day I am filled with gratitude to be able to love what I do and do what I love.

 And today, as the West Seattle Bridge reopens, it feels like a full circle life moment. I am filled with the memory of my journey over these last few years and the profound experience of Inner Alchemy. I am grateful for my guidance and for the support I received while steeped in a covid journey. I can feel a ‘bridge’ within me from before covid to post covid.

The Bridge

Last Full Moon of 2019